别太客气了No need to be so polite

我最近看到《局外人》开头两个译本放在一起。A版写：“今天，妈妈死了。也许是在昨天，我搞不清。我收到养老院的一封电报：‘令堂去世。明日葬礼。特致慰唁。’它说得不清楚。也许是昨天死的。”I recently saw two translations of the opening of The Stranger side by side. Version A reads: “Today, Mother died. Perhaps it was yesterday; I can’t work it out. I received a telegram from the nursing home: ‘Your esteemed mother has passed away. Funeral tomorrow. Our deepest condolences.’ It isn’t clear. Perhaps she died yesterday.”

B版：“今天，妈妈死了。也许是昨天，我不知道。我收到养老院的一封电报，说：‘母死。明日葬。专此通知。’这说明不了什么。可能是昨天死的。”Version B: “Today, Mother died. Perhaps yesterday; I don’t know. I received a telegram from the nursing home saying: ‘Mother dead. Burial tomorrow. This is to inform you.’ That doesn’t tell me anything. Perhaps she died yesterday.”

我看到“令堂去世。明日葬礼。特致慰唁。”的时候，第一反应是怎么这么客气。不能说它翻错了。“去世”比“死”委婉，“葬礼”也更完整，“特致慰唁”甚至很符合一封正式通知该有的语气。单独拿出来看，其实每个词都挺正常，但放在电报里，我就觉得有点怪。电报本来就是一种很舍不得字的东西。字越多，钱越多，所以能省就省。这样一看，“母死。明日葬。专此通知。”反而很像电报。没有“您的”，没有“去世”，也没有多说一句安慰的话，事情讲完了就停。My first reaction to “Your esteemed mother has passed away. Funeral tomorrow. Our deepest condolences” was: why so polite? It isn’t a mistranslation. “Passed away” is gentler than “died”; “funeral” feels more complete; “our deepest condolences” even sounds exactly right for a formal notice. Each phrase is quite ordinary on its own, but inside a telegram it feels a little strange. Telegrams are reluctant to spend words. More words cost more money, so you save wherever you can. Seen that way, “Mother dead. Burial tomorrow. This is to inform you” sounds much more like a telegram. No respectful “your,” no euphemistic “passed away,” no extra words of comfort. Once the news is given, it stops.

“母死”就两个字，好像这件事已经大到不需要再说得更完整了。相比之下，“令堂去世。明日葬礼。特致慰唁。”就有点太舍得花字。尤其是最后四个字，一下子把这封电报变得很懂礼貌，也很懂这时候应该说什么。它开始安慰你，开始替死亡加一点体面。“Mother dead” takes only two Chinese characters, as though what has happened is already too enormous to need a fuller statement. By comparison, the other version spends its words rather freely. Those final four characters offering condolences suddenly turn the telegram into something well-mannered, something that knows exactly what one ought to say at a time like this. It begins to comfort you, to lend death a little dignity.

可《局外人》开头最奇怪的地方，本来就是它没怎么在做这些事。But what is strangest about the opening of The Stranger is precisely that it hardly does any of those things.

“今天，妈妈死了。”不是“妈妈去世了”，也不是“我失去了妈妈”。下一句马上就在说，也许是昨天，我不知道。死亡和日期摆在一起，语气平得有点不正常。“Today, Mother died.” Not “Mother passed away,” and not “I lost my mother.” The very next sentence is already saying: perhaps yesterday, I don’t know. Death is set beside a date, in a voice so flat it feels a little unnatural.

因此，我更喜欢“母死。明日葬。”它也不是什么特别自然的中文。现实里没有人会说“母死”，但这里我不太在意自然不自然，因为电报本来就不是人在正常讲话，它更像把一句话压缩到只剩下信息。That is why I prefer “Mother dead. Burial tomorrow.” It isn’t especially natural Chinese, either. No one actually says “mother dead” in everyday life, but naturalness doesn’t matter much to me here. A telegram isn’t ordinary speech to begin with. It is more like a sentence compressed until nothing remains but information.

翻译很容易忍不住帮原文把话说好。原文太短，就补完整一点；太硬，就润一下；太不好听，就换成更体面的说法。但有些地方我其实不希望它被说好。“母死”当然没有“令堂去世”好看，但我觉得它更像《局外人》。Translation can find it hard to resist helping the original express itself better. Too short? Fill it out. Too stiff? Smooth it over. Too unpleasant? Find a more dignified way of saying it. But there are places where I don’t actually want the words improved. “Mother dead” certainly isn’t as elegant as “your esteemed mother has passed away,” but to me it sounds more like The Stranger.