毛玻璃般的译文Translation through frosted glass

我在看译著的时候喜欢保留一点翻译腔的版本。《哈利·波特》这里两个译本的区别就很明显。A版写：“弗农姨夫的小眼睛转向哈利，哈利像生了根似的站在当地。”When I read translated books, I like versions that retain a little of the feel of translation. The difference between these two versions of Harry Potter is very clear. Version A reads: “Uncle Vernon’s little eyes turned towards Harry, who stood on the spot as though he had taken root.”

B版：“弗农姨夫的小眼睛转过来瞪着僵在原地的哈利。”Version B: “Uncle Vernon’s little eyes turned to glare at Harry, frozen in place.”

我更喜欢B版。A版不能说错，“像生了根似的”甚至把画面翻出来了，但“站在当地”一出来，我就会突然意识到：哦，我在看翻译。B版的“瞪着僵在原地的哈利”就顺很多。前面弗农姨夫还在冲着电话吼，下一秒视线直接转到哈利身上，动作是连起来的，读的时候基本不会卡。I prefer Version B. Version A isn’t wrong; “as though he had taken root” even brings out the image. But the moment I reach “stood on the spot,” I suddenly become conscious of reading a translation. “Glare at Harry, frozen in place” flows much better in Chinese. Uncle Vernon has just been shouting into the telephone; a second later his gaze swings straight towards Harry. The actions connect, and there is hardly anything to trip over as you read.

我喜欢的翻译腔肯定不是越多越好。但我也不喜欢译文顺到完全没有原语言的痕迹。我不追求译文完全本土化，也不迷恋生硬的直译。我喜欢的是一种“半透明”的翻译：中文足够自然，让我忘记自己在解码；但又没有自然到让我忘记，这句话原本属于另一种语言。The traces of translation I like are certainly not a case of the more, the better. But I don’t like a translation so smooth that every trace of the original language has disappeared, either. I’m not looking for complete domestication, nor am I fascinated by stiff literal translation. What I like is a kind of “translucent” translation: Chinese natural enough to make me forget I’m decoding it, but not so natural that I forget the sentence originally belonged to another language.